It was in the Salsa and the Raspberries

The last few months have been a struggle for me.   No major problems or sicknesses, just huge change!  With all of my children in school and some unfortunate relationship fall outs that have left me having very negative feelings about myself.   I have found myself very alone much of the time.   I DON'T like being alone!  I have shed more tears than I can count and that is not in my nature.   I get up every morning and put on my brave face feed my children give them hugs and kisses and send them out the door.   As the door closes I feel lost, overwhelmed, and feel like I am sinking barely treading water.   I am use to being consumed with people and  phone calls and now I sit in complete silence.   Feelings of doubt creep in and then I curl up and sleep or cry my eyeballs out.   My sweet husband has been in tune and caught on to my struggle.  The other day when leaving for work he asked me what was on my agenda today?  I told him I needed to make salsa with the tomatoes he said I will have Mike's wife call you with the recipe she uses.   Forgetting about the conversation with my  husband I did the morning usual and then was trying to motivate myself to get the salsa going, when the phone rang.   It was Mike's wife.   I am quite certain that this phone call was inspired and a gentle reminder from my Father in Heaven that I am a good person and I do have a good heart.  I am human and therefore imperfect and make mistakes daily.  Our conversation went from tomatoes and peppers to Zucchini soup and then to Mother hood and the gospel.    She had a similar feeling of always treading water and  barely keeping her head above to avoid drowning.     After a long much needed conversation I found the motivation to move forward with my day and accomplish not only the salsa but the raspberry jam as well.   When we went to hang up she said,  "I hope you don't think this is corny but thanks for the mini devotional today it is what I needed!"   I thanked her and told her I was certain it was not corny but inspired.   When I hung up the phone tears spilled from my heart but this time they were a cleansing kind of tear.   While picking the raspberries I was reviewing our conversation and thinking about how many women in our society feel this same feeling of just keep their heads above water.   What can I do to make a difference in my life and in the life of my family and overcome these feelings.  A thought came to my mind and I ran to the house for my camera.   I needed to take a photo of my raspberries.   They are something that bring great joy to my life and also to the life of my family.   They are very small and very simple but they bring joy.   We love to eat them right off the bushes.   Throughout the year we eat them on our homemade rolls, our scones, homemade bread, and our famous best mom ever pancakes.  Then I decided when I have this depressed overwhelming feeling I just need to grab my camera Seek for the Good in my life, take a photo and blog about how it!  My Life is Good if I will just Seek for IT!

 The tomatoes that brought forth 36 pints and 8 quarts of pizza sauce 8 quarts of stewed tomatoes and 36 pints of salsa.

The raspberries that made homemade ice cream, and 12 pints of raspberry jam for us to enjoy all year long.   Their small red beauty contrast the large green leafs that protect and shade them from the harmful world around them.     I look at them and I see myself very small and fragile with much good to give.   I need the protection and security of a loving Heavenly Father to protect me from the world around me.   Because of these small beautiful berries I will continue to seek the good around me and help others see that good as well.