It was in the Salsa and the Raspberries

The last few months have been a struggle for me.   No major problems or sicknesses, just huge change!  With all of my children in school and some unfortunate relationship fall outs that have left me having very negative feelings about myself.   I have found myself very alone much of the time.   I DON'T like being alone!  I have shed more tears than I can count and that is not in my nature.   I get up every morning and put on my brave face feed my children give them hugs and kisses and send them out the door.   As the door closes I feel lost, overwhelmed, and feel like I am sinking barely treading water.   I am use to being consumed with people and  phone calls and now I sit in complete silence.   Feelings of doubt creep in and then I curl up and sleep or cry my eyeballs out.   My sweet husband has been in tune and caught on to my struggle.  The other day when leaving for work he asked me what was on my agenda today?  I told him I needed to make salsa with the tomatoes he said I will have Mike's wife call you with the recipe she uses.   Forgetting about the conversation with my  husband I did the morning usual and then was trying to motivate myself to get the salsa going, when the phone rang.   It was Mike's wife.   I am quite certain that this phone call was inspired and a gentle reminder from my Father in Heaven that I am a good person and I do have a good heart.  I am human and therefore imperfect and make mistakes daily.  Our conversation went from tomatoes and peppers to Zucchini soup and then to Mother hood and the gospel.    She had a similar feeling of always treading water and  barely keeping her head above to avoid drowning.     After a long much needed conversation I found the motivation to move forward with my day and accomplish not only the salsa but the raspberry jam as well.   When we went to hang up she said,  "I hope you don't think this is corny but thanks for the mini devotional today it is what I needed!"   I thanked her and told her I was certain it was not corny but inspired.   When I hung up the phone tears spilled from my heart but this time they were a cleansing kind of tear.   While picking the raspberries I was reviewing our conversation and thinking about how many women in our society feel this same feeling of just keep their heads above water.   What can I do to make a difference in my life and in the life of my family and overcome these feelings.  A thought came to my mind and I ran to the house for my camera.   I needed to take a photo of my raspberries.   They are something that bring great joy to my life and also to the life of my family.   They are very small and very simple but they bring joy.   We love to eat them right off the bushes.   Throughout the year we eat them on our homemade rolls, our scones, homemade bread, and our famous best mom ever pancakes.  Then I decided when I have this depressed overwhelming feeling I just need to grab my camera Seek for the Good in my life, take a photo and blog about how it!  My Life is Good if I will just Seek for IT!

 The tomatoes that brought forth 36 pints and 8 quarts of pizza sauce 8 quarts of stewed tomatoes and 36 pints of salsa.

The raspberries that made homemade ice cream, and 12 pints of raspberry jam for us to enjoy all year long.   Their small red beauty contrast the large green leafs that protect and shade them from the harmful world around them.     I look at them and I see myself very small and fragile with much good to give.   I need the protection and security of a loving Heavenly Father to protect me from the world around me.   Because of these small beautiful berries I will continue to seek the good around me and help others see that good as well. 

Cosmo Club

Grandma Lou gave us an early Christmas present she bought passes for the kids to be in the Cosmo Kids Club so Saturday we went to our first BYU game as a family.   The game was a good one against Wyoming.   Zeak and Dan Loved it!   I don't mind football especially if it is an intense game.  Kaci was bored out of her mind but was easily bribed with an ice skating trip and saved by Taylei who would run her to get a treat or the bathroom.   Jake didn't say much but he didn't complain so that is a good sign.   After the game  the kids were able to go down on the field and get their pictures taken with Cosmo.   That was Kaci's favorite part she loved Cosmo.   After the game we went to Wingers with the Williams and then ice skating.  Dan was feeling pretty sick so he stayed in the truck.  Kaci was in heaven and Taylei and Keanna were having a blast skating with her and trying new tricks.   So you could say we had a very successful Saturday spending time with family and friends creating memories.

Funny Friends

We have some of the funnest and best friends in the world.   The County fair is just a fun party for us most of the week.  Our kids run ramped with all the other kids.   In fact Tuesday night during the roping I was busy doing my thing when Ange came to say our children our lost do you know where they are?   Busy running the roping I said no and I announced loudly for our children to come to us.     I finally stopped the roping to tell Dan that his daughter was missing we had to find her.  Him and Mitch told Ange to look in the trailer.   That is where they were found!   I was panicked for quite a few minutes.  

So a few days later when my daughter really disappeared I should have panicked but didn't.    I knew she was with the Durbin's and since they love her like their own I wasn't concerned.   I got a txt that read:  
To whom it may concern

We have your daughter if you want her back you have to bring footwear floats to the designated spot or else.  
Aug 10, 6:38 pm

• I responded with and if we don't want her back?

The or else would come into effect
6:42

• I responded what are footwear floats and where is the designated spot.

It was supposed to say root beer floats read between the criminals lines duh  

• lol lol lol 

52 S 300 E when you get there there knock on the door three times the password is higelsniffer we will proceed from that point
Aug 10,  6:54

• At this point my phone went dead.   I was trying to round up my kids and husband which took longer than I thought.   Then we ended up visiting with the Sheperds for a few long minutes.   When I got to the truck and plugged my phone in there were two more messages.

It is almost my bed time are we going to have to do this tomorrow
9:05

EMERGENCY ALERT
Lonely child loses one mother a partially special father and two completely special Olympic brothers if seen do not I repeat do not phone police known to be extremely dangerous and out of control brothers known to like horses and go by the names zeakina girlina and jakisha and father thinks he can play guitar and prefers to be called danniella guitario and the mother wow she likes to be called lighting Lisa for she thinks she can out run the only normal person in the family in the barrels kaci woodland if you see this family please please be careful they are a danger to themselves
10:05 pm

Arrivng at the house just moments later with no rootbeer floats or footwear floats and not remembering the password I had to run back to the truck to get my phone.  We gave the password and were let in only to find the Lonely little girl fast asleep on the couch.   
I don't think she had a clue she had been kidnapped or there was a ransomed for her safe return.  I am pretty sure she would have been just fine if she would have wok up the next morning still at the Durbin's. Why?  Because they love her and all of us Like their own.  So wonderful to have great friends and good laughs

Acting your Age

So in January of 2012 I started going to the local gym.   I would get up at 4:20 and meet who ever was going that morning at the church.   We would do spin or body pump.   I even tried a few boot classes in the evenings.   I was feeling great.   Lots of self confidence and life was good.   Then came summer and its craziness.   June I went 5 times enough to make my membership worth it.   July I had good intentions with two trips.   August was a complete failure the one and only time I went the instructor slept in.   So here we are September 11th.   What a day to start back at the gym.   It helped that there was a little guilt and pressure to go since the class was set up for us Mona girls specifically.   Upon our arrival the parking lot is full for this early.   We go in Wendy Winn is excited to see us.   It has been a long time I think she gave up home.   We start laying out mats and Wendy starts writing our schedule on the mirror.   Sure horror comes over my face as I realize this is not what I am use to but it is to late to sneak out the door.   I am driving and Amy and Molli are for sure not leaving they thrive on the competition of working out.    So I put on my game face act as confident as possible and listen for instructions.    What came next was a welcome relieve a motivational  thought that took a good 3 minutes.   The it started we started running not to long not to bad!  Then we did shuffles and high knees.   I can handle this its going to be ok!    Squats 50 to be exact not so tough.  Push up 25. . .  I CAN'T EVEN DO ONE REAL ONE!!!  Panic I can feel it by number... yep 2!   Ok made it to 25 with my arms shaking but the real killer was the front roller overs.   In little people terms that translates to a summersault.    Ok people here is Life Lesson by Lisa Woodland.   DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO SOMETHING AS AN ADULT THAT YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO AS A CHILD!    As I feel the muscles in my upper back and neck tear and shred I know I am in trouble.   40 squats now 20 pushup wheelbarrows.  If you are asking yourself is there a little people term for that?   Don't worry there isn't you have a partner you want to be the one standing holding the other persons legs, not the one walking with your arms.   Then,  yep you read it right we are only half way done people.   30 squats and 15 pushups more front roll overs not good.  20 squats and 10 situps finishing with wheel barrels.   Then we got to write our goal for the next six weeks!   I am still in to much shock to think rationally so I write my name on the mirror with a goal to gain more core strength.  ugh! What have I done to my self.   I drove lucky me and all the way home we discussed what a good change that was how sore we were going to be and on and on.   We dropped Amy off and headed for Molli's.  Molli said, "hey just take me to your house I will run home.   I can see your in pain."   Not wanting to argue the point that  I was really starting to feel it I said are you sure?   Hoping and knowing she would say yes.   So at the corner of my street I get this nauseous feeling and think oh no I am in trouble.   I need fresh air.  So I roll down the window and think I will be fine.   We pull in Molli gets out I head to the door quickly put my key in. . . and turned my head seconds to late!  Yes I have finally thrown up after exercising.    To embarrassed to see  if Molli is still around I lay down on the cold cement.   Then I get up turn on the hose and spray off the door and porch.   
I go to my bed lay down for an hour and try to convince myself everything is good.   I even get up and post a nice note on facebook for anyone and everyone to join me Thursday morning.   So am I going back?   Why, yes because I have to overcome my weakness and  become strong.   Plus even though I am in some pain I really emotionally feel so much better.   So if I can get my body to catch up to my emotions life will be good.   I will just not be doing any more summersaults! lol